Rabu, 06 September 2017

[060917] Dania; untuk Bian (For Bian)


[bahasa indonesia]

“kamu tahu, kenapa hujan turun rintik – rintik ?”
“kenapa ?”
“karena, mereka itu turun untuk menemani kita. Menemani orang-orang yang kesepian, karena saat mereka turun dari langit, orang –orang akan merasa nyaman dengan suara rintik mereka”
“masa sih ? ngarang ya ?”
“nggak lah, aku itu bukan pengarang. Kalo kamu nggak percaya, coba deh perhatiin waktu hujan turun, kamu jangan cuma liatin rintik hujannya aja, tapi dengerin juga suara rintiknya”
“nggak ah, ngapain ? emang aku kurang kerjaan ?”
“yah, kan hujan juga gak setiap saat…”

Tanpa terasa 4 tahun berlalu, rasanya baru kemarin kami memiliki percakapan itu di salah satu sudut sekolah, di hari terakhir kami menggunakan seragam putih abu-abu. Aku ingat, hari itu kami sengaja meluangkan waktu lebih sebelum benar-benar pergi meninggalkan sekolah, “Dania, sampe ketemu 4 tahun lagi ya, besok aku udah berangkat ke Singapura, karena aku harus mulai persiapan kuliahku disana” ya, aku ingat kalimat itu darinya, tiba –tiba hening gedung sekolah yang perlahan ditinggalkan oleh murid-muridnya selepas jam sekolah terasa semakin sunyi dengan kalimat itu, aku diam. Tidak tahu harus berkata apa, kami bersahabat sejak kecil, dari belajar bermain sepeda bersama, hingga saat hari terakhir kami menggunakan seragam sekolah, kami selalu bersama, rasanya aku ingin menghalanginya pergi. Tidak, aku tidak ingin dia pergi, meski hanya 4 tahun, dan ke Negara yang sebenarnya tidak terlalu jauh dari sini, tapi aku juga tidak ingin menghalangi cita-citanya, aku pasti akan terlihat seperti seorang teman yang jahat jika aku menahannya pergi untuk cita-citanya selama ini…

“hei, kok diem ?”
“hm?”
“kamu jaga diri baik-baik ya, aku janji, 4 tahun itu bukan waktu yang lama, lagi pula kalau liburan kamu kan bisa main ke tempatku? Udah punya paspor kan?”

Ah….rasanya aku rindu suara itu, andai saja aku mengatakan apapun yang aku ingin katakan, andai saja ini adalah 4 tahun yang lalu, saat kami masih berada di salah satu sudut sekolah, ….di hari terakhir kami mengenakan seragam itu, ya seandainya saja…

Hari ini, aku langkahkan kakiku berat saat mencoba bangun dari tempat tidurku, kalender diatas meja belajarku dengan tanggal hari ini yang sudah aku tandai sejak 4 tahun berturut-turut, dihari yang sama, disaat itu, 4 tahun …aku tidak pernah tahu bahwa waktu itu akan terasa sangat lama, setidaknya bagiku disini.

“Dania, hari ini jangan lupa kamu ambil pesanan kebaya wisuda ya nak? Wah besok anak ibu sudah jadi sarjana, ibu beneran bangga sama kamu” panggil ibu membuka pintu kamarku pagi ini, hari pertama di bulan September tahun ini, mentari masih terbiasa dengan jadwal musim panasnya, meskipun masih pukul tujuh pagi, aku memaksa diriku untuk keluar dari kamarku, “kamu kenapa ? kok mukanya gak semangat gitu ? kan besok akhirnya kamu wisuda, semangat dong” tanya ibu yang sudah menungguku di meja makan, tapi aku hanya memilih meneguk segelas air putih dan pamit pada ibu tanpa menjawab kalimat ibu.


“Selamat pagi, hari ini tepat 4 tahun itu, bukannya kamu janji kita akan ketemu lagi ?” ucapku dengan nada bergetar, embun pagi masih membasahi beberapa rerumputan saat aku tiba di tempat itu, tempat yang hening, dan penuh dengan kesedihan, disinilah teman masa kecilku berada, Bian. Ya, dia orang yang sama yang mengatakan janji pertemuan 4 tahun itu, tapi dia tidak akan pernah menepatinya, tidak bukan karena dia melupakanku, tapi.
…karena dia sudah pergi untuk selamanya.

~~~

Sore itu Bian mengantarku pulang dengan sepeda motor barunya, hadiah dari kedua orangtuanya karena akhirnya dia diterima di universitas favorit di Singapura, “sampe ketemu 4 tahun lagi ya !” ucapnya lagi saat aku turun dari motornya, tapi tetap aku tidak pernah menjawabnya, hingga akhirnya dia pergi menjauh mengemudikan motornya meninggalkanku yang masih mematung dan memandangi punggungnya dari tempatku berdiri.

Aku menyesal, seharusnya aku menjawab perkataan itu, karena setidaknya aku hanya perlu menunggu selama 4 tahun saja, apa sulitnya menunggu selama 4 tahun untuk teman terbaikku ? Dania memang bodoh!

Keesokan paginya, aku terbangun oleh suara ibu “Dania, bangun nak” ujar ibu pagi itu, “Bian, kemarin sore dia kecelakaan. Subuh tadi dia meninggal dirumah sakit” ujar ibu sambil tertatih padaku, aku tidak percaya dengan apa yang aku dengar, hal yang aku dengar pertama kali di pagi ini, adalah hal yang tidak pernah ingin aku dengar dari siapapun, tidak! Mungkin saja aku belum terbangun, bisa saja ini mimpi ? “ibu ngomong apa sih ? Bian kan hari ini seharusnya berangkat ke Singapura ? kok ibu ngomongnya gitu sih ?” jawabku pagi itu, tanpa sadar air mataku mengalir, tubuhku bergetar, pandanganku mulai kabur dan pikiranku mulai tidak karuan, aku tidak ingin mempercayai hal itu, Bian…ibu pasti salah.

Aku berjalan lemas kerumahnya, ya rumah kami hanya berbeda beberapa blok saja, ibu bilang Bian kecelakaan setelah pulang dari sekolah kemarin, kecelakaan tunggal yang tidak jauh dari rumahnya, bukankah itu berarti, setelah dia mengantarku pulang kemarin !? aku berusaha untuk tidak menangis dan berharap ini semua hanya lelucon, “Bian ….Bian!!” panggilku, aku berteriak tanpa suara sebegitu kerasnya memanggil namanya di dalam kepalaku, aku tidak boleh menangis, tidak ini tidak nyata...bukan, Bian tidak mungkin meninggalkanku, bukankah dia berjanji akan bertemu 4 tahun lagi ?

Aku terjatuh saat tiba tepat di depan pintu masuk rumahnya, orang-orang membantu ibu yang memegangiku yang terjatuh lemas, aku tidak tahu lagi, sangat sulit untuk aku percaya, Bian ….itu memang Bian, tapi kenapa orang-orang mengelilinginya ? kenapa ibu dan ayah Bian menangis ? kenapa Tuhan !

~~~

“Bian, kamu ingat kan janji kamu 4 tahun yang lalu ? kamu bilang 4 tahun itu nggak akan lama, dan kamu bilang setelah 4 tahun kita bisa ketemu lagi, kamu ingat itu kan Bian ?” air mata hangat mengalir dari kedua mataku, hatiku terasa sesak dan nafasku mulai terisak, sudah 4 tahun berlalu, dan disetiap hari yang sama, aku selalu kesini untuk memastikan bahwa Bian akan selalu mengingat janjinya, dan aku ingin Bian tahu bahwa aku tidak pernah benar-benar ingin menahan dia untuk pergi, aku mau menunggunya selama 4 tahun, aku ingin dia tahu, dia tidak perlu pergi sejauh itu untuk aku menunggunya, “Bian, maaf…tapi 4 tahun itu gak akan pernah sebentar bagi aku, karena meskipun hari itu sudah tiba, 4 tahun tetap bukan waktu yang cukup untuk aku nungguin kamu disini. Maaf Bian, 4 tahun bukan waktu yang sebentar dan 4 tahun nggak akan jadi waktu yang cukup untuk aku lupa dengan janji kamu, dan dengan semua kenangan persahabatan kita” aku terdiam sejenak menarik nafas panjang ditengah tangis dan kalimatku, tubuhku bergetar karena menahan kesedihanku saat ini, ingin rasanya aku pergi dan melupakan segalanya, tapi setengah dari diriku masih ingin disini, bersama Bian, sahabat terbaikku, merayakan 4 tahun yang panjang ini, menagih kembali janjinya, mengingatkannya tentang janji itu, memberitahukan kepadanya bagaimana 4 tahun itu bagiku, dan setidaknya aku tidak ingin 4 tahun itu aku nikmati sendiri tanpanya, “Bian, kamu tahu ? ini pertama kalinya aku kecewa sama kamu, karena kamu nggak menepati janji kamu kali ini. Kamu bohong kalau kita akan bertemu setelah 4 tahun, kamu berbohong dengan bilang kalau 4 tahun itu singkat, dan kamu berbohong kalau kamu akan pergi untuk 4 tahun saja” lanjutku padanya seolah dia akan mampu mendengarku. Tiba-tiba rintik hujan turun, mereka turun perlahan menggantikan tetes air mata di wajahku dengan rintiknya,

“kamu tahu, kenapa hujan turun rintik – rintik ?”
“karena, mereka itu turun untuk menemani kita. Menemani orang-orang yang kesepian, karena saat mereka turun dari langit, orang –orang akan merasa nyaman dengan suara rintik mereka”

kalimatnya seketika terngiang kembali dikepalaku, aku mencoba berdiri, menengadahkan tanganku, merasakan rintik hujan membasahiku pagi itu, membiarkan mereka mengisi kepalaku dengan suara rintiknya, mencoba untuk menenangkan hatiku dengan tetesannya yang menetesi tubuhku, berusaha membuktikan bahwa apa yang Bian katakan tentang hujan adalah benar adanya,

“Bian, ada satu lagi hal yang membuat aku kecewa tentang kamu”
“apa itu Dania ?”
“kamu bohong kalau hujan itu bisa menenangkan dan menemani orang-orang yang kesepian…”


-selesai-



[english version]

“did you know, why the rain was called rain drops ?”
“why ?”
“because when they come to us, they come to make people like us feeling less lonely. And the sound from every drop they make can be healing for people”
“really? you didn’t make it up right ?”
“Sure I’m not. You can check them by yourself, when the rain is coming, trying not only to see their drops only, try to listen to the sounds they make too, you will get it what I mean then”
“what? I don’t want to waste my time”
“Oh please, it’s not like the rain will come every day here”

It’s been 4 years since that day, I feel like it was just yesterday we have that conversation in the corner of our school. That day was the last day for us to wear our school uniform as high school students,  that day when we purposely spent a little bit more time before we go home, “Dania, see you in 4 years. Tomorrow I have to go to Singapore to prepare my school there” I still remember that words he said. Suddenly our school who actually started to get empty because school hours has ended, it felt quieter because of his sentence. I don’t know what to say since we always together whole this time, we have been friends since the first time we tried to learn how to ride our bicycle when we were a child, until now today on our last day as high school students. Honestly, I wish I can stop him, so he can always be my side. Nope. I don’t want he leave me even only for 4 years, and even if I know that place will not really far away from here, and I don’t want to be such a bad friend who ruins his friend dream to get what he wanted to do,
“Hey, what happens ?”
“Hm?”
“take care of yourself. Promised I’ll be back after 4 years. You can also visit me when you were on holiday, I know you have a passport already, right ?”

well, I miss his voice. Wish I could say anything that I wish to tell him 4 years ago, when we still sat together in our school, on the last day we wear that uniform, ….if

Today I found it hard to get up from my bed, I see the desk calendar on the table, there is a sign for today, the same date in these whole 4 years, since that moment, today 4 years ago, I never know it will take too long for me.

“Dania, don’t forget to pick up your clothes for your graduation tomorrow sweetie. I’m feeling proud of you, finally you can graduate from university” called mom who checks my room this morning, and reminds me of what I need to do. On the first day of September like today, I think the sun still used to his summer schedule, even though it’s just 7 am, I decided to go and leave my room, “what happened to your face? shouldn’t you be happy because tomorrow you will finally graduate?” ask her again, but without saying anything, I just drank a cup of water and leave the house.

“Morning, today was the exact 4 years. Isn’t you promised we gonna met again ?” said me, with my shaking voice, I still could feel some morning haze in that place, the place when sadness and deserted become one. Yup, here he now. Bian. My childhood friend who said those words 4 years ago, but I know he will never keep his promise, not because he already forgets about me, but because ….he already leave me and will never coming back.

~~~

That evening, he. Bian. He drove me home with his new motorcycle that he got from his parent as a present for him who make it pass the test on a good university in Singapore, “see you in 4 years” said him again when I get off, but still I never said anything, I never give him any response about his words, until he leaves me and I can just saw his back who started to get far away from my eyes.

I was so sorry for him. I should just answer his words. Because at least I just need to wait for him for 4 years, I never know why it’s so hard for me to wait for only 4 years for him, a friend who always there to me all this time?

The next morning, my mom comes to my room, she tried to wake me up with her hand who feeling shaking at that moment, “Dania. Last evening, Bian have an accident, and just today early in the morning, he has passed away” said her like a whisper to my face. Those words I can't ever believe it,  the only words I heard this morning when I just wake up from my bed, “what are you saying ? he should go to Singapore for today, why you said those words, mom!?” said me for my mom,  I don’t even realize that the tears already falling from my eyes, I can’t believe it, never! It makes my whole body started shaking and my vision started to get blurry. No, I can’t believe my mom.

I run to his house which not really far from my house, I trying hard to not lose my strength to go. Mom said the accident was on the yesterday evening, isn’t that means that happen right after he drops me off? I tried to not to crying, I keep saying to my self it was a joke for me. “Bian ….Bian!!” I keep calling him while screaming inside my head, I called him and try to hold my tears, I shouldn’t cry, because I know it’s not real. I know he promised to meet again after 4 years to me.

I’m feeling so weak, my mom and people around us try to help me to stand up again, Bian…that was him. But, why all those people surround him around ? and why his parent crying beside him !?

~~~

“Bian, do you still remember about you promised ? 4 years ago, you said that will not take too long for us to wait, you said we will meet again. Do you remember about that?” my tears started to fall down from my eyes, I started sobbing. It’s been 4 years since that day, and in the same day for every year I always come to this place to tell about it so he will never forget the promised he made before, and I just want to tell him, that I never really want to hold him to go. I will wait for 4 years for him to come back to me, and for that I wish he didn’t need to go this far to leave me, “I’m sorry Bian, those 4 years will never feel sort for me, because even after the whole 4 years has passed that will never enough to me to wait for you come back. And 4 years will not enough to me to forget about our stories we have in the past” I take my breath, I wish I could just go and leave him here, but another side of me wish to stay here with him. He is my best friend. I come here to asked him to keep his promised 4 years ago, to remind him about that and tell him about how I feel for this 4 years without him, “did you know Bian? it’s the first time you make me disappointed about you. Because you lie to me that we could be met again after 4 years, and you said 4 years will not take too long. You were lying that you will only leave for 4 years” said me again for him,  in front of his grave. Suddenly it started raining, I could feeling the raindrops on my face and become one with my tears,

“did you know, why the rain was called rain drops ?”
“because when they come to us, they come to make people like us feeling less lonely. And the sound from every drop they make can be healing for people”

his words suddenly being replied on my head, I try to get up and open my hand widely to let the rain drop in my whole body, so I could feel them and try to proved about what Bian said to me about them,

“Bian, there is another thing that I hate about you”
“what’s that ?”
“You were lying when you said rain drops can heal the people who feeling lonely …”
-->

-fin-







Palembang, September 6th, 2017
Tsanamilta Amirah

Senin, 27 Juni 2016

Jori King - Love At First Sight Lyrics + DL

(x2) 
She got me feelin like 
Uh uh oh whoa oh 
Uh uh oh whoa oh oh yeah 

*Beginning Chorus* 

And I never felt this way before 
And I wanna give you all my world cuz 

You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I do, yes I do, I-I do, yes I do 
You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I do, yes I do, I-I do, yes I do 

*Verse 1* 

Girl you make me believe in things I've never seen 
And it's a trip to me how she got me feelin weak 

I just don't understand I was the type of man 
That could care one less about a girl yet here I am 

I don't know what to say think bout everyday 
I must admit that I hate whenever you're away 

I don't know what to do cuz when I think of you 
Somethin happens to me babe 

*Pre-Hook* 

Oh pretty girl I really don't think that you know 
How strong or deep my love for you can go 
I never thought it could happen to me 
But baby girl I'm starting to believe 

Believe in love at first sight 
And girl I love that it's feelin so right 

Wana give you all of me 
And I wantchu to give me all of you cuz you oo oh oo 

*Chorus* 

You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I never felt this way before 
You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I wanna give you all my world cuz 

You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I do, yes I do, I-I do, yes I do 
You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I do, yes I do, I-I do, yes I do 

*Verse 2* 

Oh first it was hard to believe but I'm starting to see 
I'm slowly falling in love from what you do to me 

And I can't help myself girl you're good for my health 
I'm so addicted to you can't see nobody else 

And all my friends just hate like what the hell is this 
Bro are you insane I'm trippin out and *ish 

Like girl you got me sprung 
Call you just to hear you talk "Hello? ... Heyy" 

*Pre-Hook* 

Oh girl I don't think that you know 
How strong or deep my love for you can go 
I never thought it could happen to me 
But baby girl I'm starting to believe 

Believe in love at first sight 
And girl I love that it's feelin so right 

Wana give you all of me 
And I want you to give me all of you cuz you oo oh oo 

*Chorus* 

You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I never felt this way before 
You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I wanna give you all my world cuz 

You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I do, yes I do, I-I do, yes I do 
You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I do, yes I do, I-I do, yes I do 

*Ending Chorus* 

(x2) 
Oh oh oo oo oh 
Oh oh oo oo oh 
Oh oh oh oo oh 
Oh oh oo oo oh 

You you make me believe in love at first sight 
And I do, yes I do, I-I do, yes I do